I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
