He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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