Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
