Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
