You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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