found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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