Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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