i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
