"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have demons in me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
