do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think my vagina is haunted
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
