I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
