I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just cropdusted the office
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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