i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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