The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
