He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize