This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
