you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm really busy with my period
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