Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My ATM looks so different sober.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
