it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
