Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
