I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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