If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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