Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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