Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
