No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
