Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
