Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
