i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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