We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
