She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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