I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
