Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
