I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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