2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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