if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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