My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
