Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
