I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
