I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
