it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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