Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
