a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
