Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize