this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize