he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize