I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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