so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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