I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
