Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize