You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
