in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
