i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
