I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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