So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
