i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
