I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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