So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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