so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
