There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I skipped work to stalk him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
