actually, I'm a sock model
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize