WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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