North Korea, Best Korea!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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