I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize