walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
