At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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