Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
