Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
