fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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