I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
