i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
