i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
