did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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