I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
